"Insanity of Realty" - "Reality of Insanity"
Two weeks and counting.....
Served a 22 year sentence....expected life without parole when suddenly word spreads of a pardon. August 26th the date and I'm outta here....early release? Ss u r e.....and I'm taking friends when I go!
The enviroment here is cold year round... designed to make one focus on why we're here, creating less distractions? I've spent hours looking out this window onto the world wondering what I'd do or where I'd go if .... yet never dreaming this day would come. Now, I begin to gather the small peices of me...strown in my work area and prepare to walk through that doorway one last time and hear the key turn behind me. Only 10 more days and it's over.
The system leads you to believe skills learned inside will prepare you for another life...yet if this were true would you not still hold value here? How do you begin after years of insanity? Survival meant buying into a system of rules, loyalities, core values, all of which... mean absolutely nothing. Valuable time, meaningful occassions, events I should've attended passed ....while I marred knee deep in BS thinking it made a difference. It doesn't....it never did. In retrospect, now stripped of self confidence, beaten, critiqued and harshly judged ... yet I willingly participated in foolish games where rewards are dispursed much like tossing dog treats to a pet.
Chants of Hoopla's echo as we exit. Clear vision, understanding now that where people once stood now stand pawns lined, waiving their tickets for seats to ride 'the happy bus' . The driver sits up, looking forward but wearing a mask. Still he's easily recognized from the required name tag....FEAR.
Rushing to put distance between myself and the titanic I glance back with clear understanding. My worth will never be determined by what someone else thinks. I choose a long and painful sentence that will soon be a bad memory but until that day theres no time for bitterness or regrets....only acceptance of the journey.
Comments